I lost a friend to the hot dog one. I am still laughing.
Prank It Up! Top Bike Pranks 8
When the summer riding season comes to a close, it's time to focus efforts on entertainment. Often the best entertainment comes at the expense of someone else. We've put together a quick list of bike-related pranks to inspire you through the dreary winter months. Learn some new bike pranks and share you own in the comments!
The Noise Maker
This is probably the easiest prank with the easiest remedy and least hurt feelings. Dangle a washer from a string and pinch the string between the seat post and seat tube. Let's just say hikers will know your friend will be coming from miles away. Consider it a starting point for you noobs.
The Noise Maker comes in all forms. Objects in the handlebar and other accessible tubing on the bike will create annoying sounds. You can turn this one up to 11 by putting objects in all the tubes on their bike (like handlebars and steer tubes) to create the SNM (Super Noise Maker).
Hot Dog in the Seat Tube, aka The Classic
If you live in warm, humid climates, this prank could very well mean a dissolved friendship, but the stench and confusion just might be worth the break up. Adding local flare to your prank results in a better story, after the prank has been pulled, too. If you live in Maine, drop in some lobster guts. Texas? A steak. If you're in Philadelphia, maybe you can cram a whole cheese steak down the tube. Organic material in one's bike that goes unnoticed will eventually stink to high heaven...just be ready for the consequences of your actions.
Just like The Noise Maker, The Classic can be taken to extremes. If the victim has lock-on grips, stuffing sardines in the handlebars is quick and easy. If you wanted to be a total asshole, especially to a fellow rider with suspension that's too soft, you could replace the spring of their fork with gummy bears and see how long it takes them to notice. Once again, payback from The Classic may be a bitch. You've been warned.
Sticker Job, aka The Fun Prank
This bike prank is pretty self-explanatory and a favorite of professionals like Tyler McCaul and Eric Carter. It's a great way to get back at a fellow MTBer who has made a foul against a group of people because everyone can get in on the action. You know the guy who's always late to the group ride??? The environmental costs may be a little on the high side, but the resulting smiles from onlookers and prankers alike, practically make this a carbon-neutral endeavor.
If you need stickers, we've got your back.
Wheeling and Dealing
Wheel pranks are awesome and this one takes some effort and resources. It could be the best way to take down your local Strava KOM nerd, however. Wonder how this would work on a Surly Pugsley in the dead of winter? Allan Cooke and Anthony Napolitan educate.
An employee of Santa Cruz Bicycles (who shall remain nameless) sent us a couple great wheel-related pranks. Inserting small objects (like pebbles, washers or sand) inside tubeless wheels or cutting a small hole in an inner tube to insert small objects is a hoot. For tubes, just make a small hole, insert the objects, patch the tube and install as normal. The victim will have plenty of weird handling and noise as a result. It would also seem that bigger wheels should mean bigger pranks, right?
Hydrate or Lie
When your fellow riding companion is not looking, grab their water bottle or hydration pack and swap out their beloved H20 for something that is not H20. Anything will do; soda, beer, milk, tequila. Just be sure to get that tasty new liquid into the straw so the instant they take a drag on that nipple, their taste buds are lit up. You could even replace the liquid with something like rocks or sand, so they wouldn't feel the weight difference, only to come up dry.
**CAUTION - don't be a dick and Hydrate or Lie someone right before a 4-hour ride in the desert, leaving your "friend" stranded with nothing but a little PBR in his bladder.
Crank Yankers - While this won't work on every bike, it's a favorite for dirt jumpers with 3-piece cranks. Loosen the crank arms enough so you can rotate one of the crank arms ever so slightly on the splined bottom bracket spindle. Then re-tighten the crank arm. The victim will think that their spindle or pedals are bent, but visually they may not be able to see what happened.
Mascara Mitts - The victim needs black grips and you need some of your lady's eyeliner. Paint the black, sticky goo ever so subtly onto the grips and don't go in for the high five after cleaning the rock garden or your hands will be coated, too.
Ride and Go Seek - Trees, rafters, and any place out of easy reach. Anywhere the pranked person won't expect to find their bike is a good place to park their bike. Just don't let someone else find it first and run off with it!
Backward in the Saddle Again - Surprisingly, this works more often than you would think. While you're on a break, rotate your pal's seat around 180, so it's backwards. As the ride resumes, they hop on and quickly realize things aren't quite right.
We know you have a favorite prank, so share the joy of joking in the comments!
8 comments newest first
That dog is bummed...
a ball bearing in handle bars is super annoying
I was on a road trip once when McCaul, Lenosky and others filled Chase's, Ebbett', Hauck's and my bike up with tuna fish. Several months later the smell was so bad I had to get ride of the bike. A year later at Rays in Ohio we took Lenosky's bike totally apart (like every bolt that could come apart) and put it in a small box, needless to say Jeff wasn't such a good sport about it. I haven't forgot about you McCaul...
Here's a good one left on Vital's FB page by Brian Nicholson - "A single ball bearing inside the stem is a great one. Hardly noticeable until you get up to speed."
Would drive me bonkers!
My buddy put milk instead of stan's in my tires. Stunk like hell when I opened em up 3 months later
Doggy needs hot dog.
Hadn't even thought about it, may have to get on it one day, but may piss off a lot more the average joe than a pro with 3 or 4 bikes. The hydrate or lie one looks easy and fun for after a mid ride lunch break.